Stiff

I have this friend, and he passed away like 4 years ago. That was my first experience of facing a friend's death. I didn't go to his funeral because I was at my campus doing lecture. I've told about this story in my previous post. But this time, I'd like to tell about the impact of that event.

At first, I was pretty sure it would have nothing to do with my life. I mean, a few months after would be fine for me. Death would just stay for months. But I have this things.

First, everytime I open those old photos, I found my mind to be thrown away, back to the past. I found my mind trapped in those old times, when I was in middle school, with all my friends, not just him.

Second, when I remember him and those funny moments in middle school, I found myself to be really sad and felt like I wasn't exist, it's just my body without my soul.

Third, it was happen just a couple days ago. I was going to my grandma's house with my father and we passed this street. I didn't realize about it until I red the street name and suddenly I felt blank.

All of those experiences brought me into a condition where all over my body became stiff, and my hand s were tightly clenched so did my mouth. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know whether it's normal or not. It's been 4 years and nothing's change with my reaction. I wanna know about it, I'm being really curious, but lately I found out my mental health wasn't really nice.

Fave Room - Sunday, August 30th 2020

Nowhere Like Home

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